IDLES @ KEXP Cost: $Free.99

Breaking my own rules and reviewing something that was $Free.99 for my first review.

Fun fact about me. I love free shit! I’ll take free shit at my own inconvenience just because its free. I worked at a big corp and would swoop down on free food in the kitchen area like a fucking vulture. “Does this free tuna sandwich that’s been sitting out for 3 hours have a little tang to it? Will I be puking my guts up from some unknown food borne illness that caused said tang?” It’s happened before and it will happen again. For free stuff I will risk it all. This behavior is more trash than yuppie. It is what it is.

I haven’t said this yet, but I live in Seattle. This has greatly influenced my new yuppie persona. Seattle is a city in the middle of rapid growth. Amazon is bringing in so many yuppies that the city tried to tax them for it. This is leading to an identity crisis. People who were already here don’t like the traffic and all of the new people. All of the new people here are making the authentic Seattle neighborhoods less so. I hesitate to tell people that I got here because my girlfriends company got a contract with Amazon. It’s a contentious situation between natives and yuppies.

So when I ventured over to KEXP, I put on my Costco flannel to do my best to not be detected as new. KEXP is the local radio station that records in the shadow of the Space Needle and the soon to be renovated Key Arena. The music they play is diverse and in true Seattle fashion, it shares the space with a coffee shop and a record store.

KEXP was having the neo punk band IDLES record live in their studio at 9:30 am. I work at a start up that has normal bizness hours so I had to play a little hooky in order to go.  IDLES was playing a sold out show at a tiny venue later in the week with no resell tickets on any site, so I finagled an excuse and got there.

All I had to do was fork over my e mail and phone number and I got a ticket to see a 30 min set. They packed about 65 people into a small dark room with big glass windows into the studio. Not the same experience as a concert, but a great value nonetheless. We weren’t allowed to clap until the end and to my dismay no mosh pit broke out but a very cool experience all things considered.

Those Brits brought it that morning. Sounding almost identical to their album while bringing stage antics like the singer poking the guitarist in the face with the mic stand or the the two guitarists chasing each other while the camera men spun out of the way to not get tangled in amp cords. The end message from the band was centered around positivity and self love. When we were finally allowed to clap, the crowd erupted.

I’m not a music reviewer, but I know a good live act when I see one. I can’t recommend IDLES or KEXP live shows more.

Final Review: 10/10
Cost: $Free.99
Would I Do it Again? In a heartbeat

Millenials vs Yuppies vs Hipsters


Quick breakdown for y’all that are confused. There are subtle distinctions between these groups but they are necessary to parse the holy grail demo that is the yuppie.

Millennials are people born in between 1980 and 1997. It’s a word that has become a favorite among the growing group of journalists that enjoy yelling at clouds. It basically means “young adult” and is too broad a term for those trying to tailor experiences to a certain demographic.

Yuppies are a subset of millenials who have funds. Let me be clear, Yuppies are NOT just young white people. In my experience, big corporations have diversity initiatives that champion all walks of life; black, white, asian, hispanic/latino, gay, straight, disabled etc. In my opinion, the yuppie and corporate worker Venn diagram looks something like this:


It’s not the 80’s! The fresh out of college professional in America is a much more diverse group than it once was. When thinking about Yuppies, I’d focus more on their thirst for experience and their willingness to pay for something “cool” more so than thinking about skin color, orientation, or whatever else people are segmenting by nowadays.

Hipsters are people who are above certain trends. They think Coachella sucks because its all about the fashion, but wear ridiculous shit to stand out. Case and point I wore overalls to a music festival this summer, desperately trying to blaze the path for overalls comeback (PS. overalls are really back though; you’re welcome).

I can see someone making an argument that a hipster doesn’t have to be a yuppie, but I lean toward the idea that they are a subset of Yuppie. A hipster without a budget is something more of a hippy, grifter, or wook IMO.  Hipsters have a narcissistic tendency to deem the things they like objectively better than the stuff their broader cohort enjoys.

This is a double edge sword. On the one hand, a hipster can sniff out something that’s actually good and that will become mainstream early. This is the exception to the rule. More often than not, the hipster likes something just to go against the grain and be able to seem more interesting to her cohort. Hipsters shell out more money for weirder and more exclusive stuff and shit on other people for getting/ doing something more mainstream.

If yuppies are your target demo, and you’re wondering whether to market to the subset of hipster yuppies, consider your product. Are you looking to move units/ bring in a lot of people? If so don’t market to these people. They are not worth your time. However, if you have art that takes a ton of time to make or is of the avant-garde variety, these people are your bread and butter. Shoot those price points up and market your product/ experience/ whatever as a *VERY RARE* exclusive.

I’ll be expanding on the Yuppie vs Trust Fund Baby in a later post, to clear up the notion that a Yuppie is just someone with a ton of money.

Millenial -> Yuppie -> Hipster for those of you tracking at home.

-Yuppie Trash

Yuppie Revelation

There I was, in my city apartment working from home and listening to experimental hip hop when it hit me. The lyric that spawned my new found identity and this blog.

 Selling art to these yuppies getting mixed offers — Williamsburg; JPEGMAFIA

That’s me. I’m one of those yuppies this guy is selling art to.  Hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been in the corporate world for over 3 years but I never viewed myself as a yuppie. I was just some guy, or a bro, or a hipster, or a millennial, but never a yuppie! And yet here it was in plain sight. I was just living my comfortable, corporately funded lifestyle, thinking about how much I’d pay to see this guy rap and then, mid song, he reveals who his demographic is. If so facto, I am a yuppie.

Not gonna lie I was bummed at first.Yuppies SUCK! They’re fickle and fake, hopping from  activity to activity to fulfill their “living my best life” promise to themselves, and recording every moment so they can flex on all of their friends that weren’t with them at the time. Vapid, self centered, ungrateful, selfish etc. The list goes on.

In that moment, my above idea of what yuppies are and my identity merged. Not great! However, through months and months of therapy (a yuppie luxury; it is EXPENSIVE) I learned that my self esteem is not to be fucked with, so rather than fight the label or wear it in shame, I’ve embraced it. Yes, yuppies suck in a lot of ways, but we are what we are and set the cultural trends for better or worse.

More importantly, yuppies are by definition young people who are paid well. JPEGMAFIA is making a solid business decision by targeting them.  Yuppies should be the most sought after demographic for companies who can’t seem to peg down those damn youths. Judging by all the industries that Millenials have killed, business owners need help figuring yuppies out. As the yuppie authority I’m here to help.

This blog is here for 3 reasons:

  1. To give me a creative outlet.
  2. To review expensive experiences for fellow yuppies.
  3. To give business owners attempting to sell experiences to yuppies an insight into our psychographic profile.

The format may change, but my plan is to review experiences that cost me over $30. I’ll record how much was spent and deep dive into what I was doing/ why I shelled out the cash to do it. It’ll be everything from music festivals to rock climbing. From mud runs to dance lessons. From cooking class to a college football game. There’s a ton of experiences to be had and some that are better than others. Let me help sort them out.

-Yuppie Trash